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This is a series I've been mulling over for a while now and even at one point promised Simone I would write. I've been wanting to write it partly because I think the perspective of growing up in rural Central Oregon is unique, and partly because I think there's some good stories to tell. So bear with me.

First off: an introduction. The background. I'm laying the groundwork and setting the stage...

More...

I'm pretty sure I had something cool I wanted to blog about today, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. I'm having a Moment.

In the meantime, enjoy Shannon's latest quote of the week: "i wish i knew how to roller blade and could beat up people because i'd totally want to be a roller girl." T-shirt fodder! Yes, I laughed.

I'm also working on a big blog entry that should be up in a day or two. It's a beginning of something bigger that I've been lazy to start. Be warned!

Since it's 24 night, I thought I'd share this quote I thought was hilarious (emphasis mine):

As an actor, you want to be loved or liked, and when the guy you're playing suddenly turns evil, you feel marginalized. It sounds silly to verbalize, but you start thinking, 'What happens if Jack Bauer, America's avenging angel, doesn't like me anymore?'

Man, that just about sums up the entire show.

The title refers to the board game, not a business monopoly. Sorry to anyone coming here looking for juicy Bend business gossip. :)

According to CNNMoney, Monopoly is updating its look with modern places and landmarks and further, letting users vote on their board placement. That's pretty cool, and it brings to mind the panoply of custom Monopoly games that are floating around out there on just about every conceivable topic.

Which led me to wonder: Is there a custom Bend, Oregon Monopoly game anywhere? I tentatively want to say that I might remember seeing one at one time—perhaps in one of the shops downtown—but I'm pretty doubtful. A cursory web search revealed nothing.

So maybe I'll make one. It'd certainly be easy enough to print out new board spaces and glue them onto an old game; anyone have any suggestions as to what they'd like to see on Bend Monopoly?

(And then, of course, we'll have to play at the next blogger meetup.)

When I said "the first part of my day" in my earlier post today, I really had no idea that actually meant "the entire day." Somehow I always undershoot these estimates with the misplaced optimism... like also thinking I'd only need one load of compost...

In order to topdress the lawn with compost, I had to borrow my dad's truck so I could haul it in bulk (ever tried to cover several thousand square feet of lawn with only bags of fertilizer? Me neither, and I wasn't about to try). My mom had suggested steer manure compost, and most places in town that offer it (always in a mix with "yard debris") were outrageously expensive, so we settled on getting it from Hershey Cattle Company over in Redmond for only $15 per yard. This is actually a 40/60 mix of manure with topsoil or something, but it was still half as costly as the next place.

The catch, of course, to borrowing Dad's truck was that I had to drive out to his place (in Alfalfa) and help him load a couch into the back of the truck, which he'd promised to a co-worker. So out I went at 8:30 in the morning. We loaded up the couch, tied it up, and I followed him back into town.

I helped him deliver the couch, to an apartment complex behind COCC, which of course was on the second floor, up a narrow, cracked concrete staircase. Once that was done, we were back to my place, where Dad took my car back home and left me with the truck. By now it was about 10:30.

Let me digress for a bit about Earth Day, since I did mention it in the title to this post. Today being both the anniversary of this blog and Earth Day, it was of course the perfect day to do Earth-friendly yardwork with (ahem) organic eco-friendly fertilizer. My wife transplanted flowers. I worked out in the sun all day. So it doesn't get any more "Earth Day" than that, despite the goofy guy in a "Cat in the Hat" hat on Z21 yapping about how cool it was that there was some parade downtown to celebrate... how cool the Earth is, or something (hey, his words, not mine). Okay, digression over.

I left around 10:50 or so for Redmond. (I actually had to turn back after two blocks because I forgot my tarp. You didn't think I was going to drive all the way back from Redmond with a truckload of manure and not have it tarped, did you?) Let me just say this about my dad's truck: I know it's been awhile since I had my S-10, but holy crap the clutch on his truck is way looser than mine was and that truck's seen some miles (and it was only a year older than mine). I was about halfway to Redmond before I got used to driving it.

Got to the Hershey place, paid for a yard (which pretty much fills up an S-10 truckbed), and panicked a bit when the guy dumped the load of manure into the truck with the backhoe and I thought for a moment the shocks were going to go. All of a sudden I was driving a rear-wheel low-rider—really low. I wasn't looking forward to the drive home (on busy Highway 97 nearly the whole way). So I tarped up the load, tied it, and was pulling out when I realized another nasty little surprise had crept up on me.

You ever drive a pickup truck when it's fully loaded in back? And by "fully loaded" I mean overloaded? Yeah, besides the obvious (it takes a lot longer to speed up and slow down), the entire front end seems to float around, like you're suddenly piloting a wobbly boat. I hadn't really remembered that little phenomenon since living at home and hauling over-burdened loads of hay. I was less than thrilled.

The drive home was uneventful, though (if a little tense). By the time I got back it was nearly 11:30.

Now, this compost was really good, really soil-like in composition. It still stank like steer manure, but it might as well be topsoil in appearance. I figured it would be easy to spread, because we have this little Turf Builder® spreader with adjustable spray opening, and I could just walk around the yard, pushing the spreader and blithely spraying manure all over the place. So I load it up, and the thing won't work worth a damn. It's just too small for what we're dealing with.

So that meant back to the tried-and-true method for cursing gardeners everywhere: wheelbarrow and shovel, and spreading it by hand.

And of course today was a windy day. Not just breezy, but big wind gusts that would come in and handily blow steer manure dust from the shovel all over the place—in your shoes, on your clothes, in your face and eyes. Very lovely. I think I can still sense the stuff in my nasal cavity. But I got a rhythm going finally, and went back for a second load at about 2:30.

Same routine as before, only I think this load was heavier: piloting a jerky boat down the gusty highway. This load went quicker, thanks to my wife helping, and we even had a couple of wheelbarrow loads left over (now in a pile out by the shed). By the time I'd showered and was sitting down to relax, it was 5:20! Where'd the day go? Oh yeah, I got a bunch of shit done... (rim shot).

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I'm really getting tired of owning a lawn. I think I'm beginning to hate it, actually. The stupid thing is full of dry and dead patches, there's not enough topsoil underneath the front half (thus necessitating the topdressing), watering is a joke during the summer months (we're on the edge of the High Desert, remember?), and general maintenance of what amounts to a crop of an invasive plant species is wearing very, very thin with me.

And what are lawns good for, anyway? Let's see, sitting on (watch out for bugs)... avoiding dog poo... playing croquet on (if you're British)... lawn darts (try not to kill the opponent)... hmmm. Jeez, when I was growing up, we had very little lawn, and we kids always ran off to play in the dirt and rocks and trees anyway. Go figure.

(Okay, not entirely true; the lawn made a good wrestling ring when we were trying out WWF wrestling moves. But they say kids shouldn't do that nowadays, so...)

Me, I'd be perfectly happy with a little more natural Central Oregon wilderness. But that's just my opinion; I could be wrong.

The rest of my day involved drinking some beer and reading my favorite new book. Now that's the right way to end a day.

And oh yeah, I even sunburned my neck a bit. Now I'm just a red neck hauling manure around in an old truck.

Go figure.

Yes, it was exactly four years ago today that I started this blog. I don't have much to say right now, I just wanted to mark the occasion.

Though I should probably do something special for it. The first part of my day will be hauling manure around, topdressing the yard, so I guess I'll have to come up with something better for later. ;)

I've seen this name show up a few times now in my email spam filter: Natalie Gadzooks. Perhaps it's not the best spam name ever, but every time I see it, it makes me laugh.

I've just gotta give Shannon props for writing up the quote of the year: "i thought it was cool in a blog stalker sort of way." Love it! I am totally going to steal it. :)

Okay, maybe not for the entire year... but I'll give it to her for April, at least.

One of the Flickr feeds I'm subscribed to is photos tagged with "Spokane," since we lived up there for a few years a decade ago.

One of the photos that showed up tonight is here: a tavern I used to drink at named Snoops. Yeah, it was kind of a dive, but what are you gonna do? I was in my twenties. :)

Oh, this is such a twisted, twisted thing to laugh at, and yet I couldn't stop laughing: The Easter Bunny Hates You (video).

I wouldn't let the kids watch this one, lest they be scarred for life...

Thanks, Shannon!

Okay, the headline is a bit sarcastic. But since the date for the closing of the Newport Avenue Bridge has been a moving target up until now, it's hard to take it seriously when they finally commit to it. But there's this item on KTVZ naming tomorrow (Saturday) the day, and I also heard the same thing on the radio this morning.

The first date I'd heard for the closing was April 1st. Then, a few days before the first, word was the date got pushed back to the 7th. Next it was the 10th. However, the orange construction sign at the bridge downtown still says April 7th. (I noticed this as I crossed the bridge yesterday, on the 13th.) And in the meantime there's been a big pile driver sitting there, ready to get started on wanton deconstruction.

So, if the bridge is actually closed tomorrow, everybody has to remember to use the Portland Avenue or Galveston Avenue bridges to get to the west side. What a pain.

Oh, and does anyone really believe the bridge will only be closed for seven months? Knowing how road projects tend to work around here, I'm betting it'll run long... Maybe we should start a pool.

If you're familiar with web programming and AJAX and PHP, check out this item about Client-side PHP on The Daily WTF. Go ahead, take a look. I'll wait.

Done? Good. Now, if you're familiar with what's happening in that code, I'll wait while you convulse in horror. :)

Holy expletive, that code makes me angry and want to laugh at the same time. I'll just reiterate Deane's headline: Someone please fire the person who wrote that.

Yes, April has been a slow month on this site so far. I'm working on rectifying that. But it also occured to me that I hadn't blogged about the High Desert Sun lately or even pointed to my articles that were published in it (and are online). So, they are here and here, and the third one should be up soon (I just picked up the April edition of the paper at the library). Enjoy!

This is pretty cool: Dummies Book Cover Generator (via eMusings). Now you can generate a fake "For Dummies" book for any occasion (which would have been handy when I originally created this and this). Imagine the mayhem...

At the very least, I can now mockup my For Tards ideas:

Just wanted to blog a short note about the Bond Street Barber Shop in Downtown Bend. I went there for a haircut for the first time Tuesday after work, it's a nice place. The big draw, though, is the complimentary beer and wine you get while you're waiting!

Yep, you read that right. They stock Cascade Lakes beer (and a few macros), but I didn't see what variety of wine; I thought maybe there was a bottle of Yellow Tail red something, but I couldn't be sure. And on Saturdays, they also have Bloody Marys.

As far as haircut experiences go, they were good. A bit of a wait, actually (I was waiting for almost a half hour, then another half hour to cut my hair), but they're old school—straight razors for the fine hairs and everything. I was happy with what I walked out with.

So it'll likely be my regular barbershop from now on; anytime you can combine scissors, straight razors and beer, you know you're in for a good time!

You may have noticed the new banner in the sidebar, for Obsidian Stock. What's Obsidian Stock? It's Simone's newish stock photography venture, and she's putting out a call for Central Oregon photographers.

Simone does good work, and I think she's going to do really well with this venture. So click over and check things out.

Plus, now she owes me a beer. :)

By now most of the world has passed the once-in-a-century date and time sequence of "01:02:03 04/05/06". And you thought Daylight Savings Time was big news!

Yeah, right.

I think the anchor on NBC Nightly News tonight summed it up best: Perhaps it's more notable that someone thought that up in the first place...

I can't help but notice that this cartoon by Hugh MacLeod seems to be lifting from my "For Tards" book idea I blogged about back in 2004... :)

So. April 1st. Any April Fool's Day stories to pass on? I have one. My wife calls this morning as they're supposed to be leaving San Diego, and says they're not leaving because my daughter has a 103 degree fever. I freak out a little bit.

April Fool's!

That's all I got, actually. I forgot it was the first of April.

In non-practical joke news, I helped Shannon and Brian move into their new apartment in downtown Bend. Well, I and five other people helped. Not a bad move at all, though; they already had everything packed up and ready to go, and they don't own too many big pieces of furniture. And, really, they don't own that much stuff—at least compared to the amount of crap I and my family have been hauling around for years now. So we were mostly done by one o'clock. And got pizza and beer out of the deal.

Their new place is pretty sweet. Overlooking downtown, mere blocks away from, well, everything, with a view of Pilot Butte from the balcony—yeah, we're gonna be hanging out there a lot this summer, I think. Several of us have already discussed getting our own keys and setting up a mini-fridge full of beer on the balcony. :).