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Seems like I do this every year, after the TV season has (mostly) ended. And year after year I seem to be watching the same damn shows. What's up with that?

Lost was better this year than it has been, but that's still not saying much as they've continued to veer into left field for no discernible reason. Time travel, Egyptian mythology, the sudden retcon of Jacob into everyone's lives... I swear they keep making this stuff up on the fly, don't let any talk of a "master plan" tell you different. At this point I feel like I'm slogging through the show more out of inertia than anything. And sometimes it is a slog.

24 started out strong but after the first four or six episodes it jumped the rails somehow. Actually, I have a theory about that: those first few episodes were first written and filmed last year, just before the writer's strike shut down Hollywood and canceled the season of 24. So they were off to a good start, got shut down for a year (or six months, or whatever), then came back in (possibly with new writers? Not sure) and tried to pick up where they left off—but they'd already lost it. It was just a chore to watch, not unlike Lost.

And what's with the way it ended? Way too many loose ends and plotlines left dangling. It felt like it didn't end, actually, which is a problem—not like a cliffhanger, which is a different beast, but like they had another couple of episodes to film and got cut short. Weird.

I was not at all an Adam Lambert fan on American Idol this year. I'm glad Kris Allen won. That's all I'll say about that, other than having my faith restored in the collective good taste of the voting American public.

The Office was probably my favorite show again this year. It's just brilliant and hilarious, outstanding really.

I loves me some Law & Orders, and though I'm a bit tepid on SVU, I'm loving this season's plain-vanilla L&O and since Criminal Intent is finally back on with their new episodes, it's one of the few shows I actually look forward to watching. (I know, the "new" CI episodes already aired on the USA channel before the NBC "season" started this month. I don't watch USA, okay?)

Scrubs was "back" on ABC this time around and it was good... but not as good as before. Just wasn't feeling it as much. Though I thought they handled the series finale really well.

I started watching The Unusuals and was rather enjoying it, so naturally ABC decided to cancel it. (They were probably sick of my bitching about Lost.) Quirky characters, fast-paced, no overall "mystery storyline" that would require three years to unravel... just a decent cop show.

Speaking of decent cop shows (or not), one thing I simply do not understand is how CSI: Miami can continue to be on TV. It's the most ridiculous show I've ever seen. The only redeeming quality is the opening one-liner. And it seems like even that is starting to consume itself lately.

Of course, when all else fails there's always Cartoon Network.

My wife found this article today on the possible end of the TV series "24" after the next season (season 8). Nothing really earth-shaking here, but it sort of ties in with a thought I've had for a while and hadn't gotten around to blogging, until now.

The thought is, what actor(s) would you want to see play the lead role on "24"? Either as a replacement for Kiefer Sutherland, or perhaps if there were a spinoff or whatever. What actor or actors could fill a Jack Bauer-esque role?

I have a few ideas, mostly dredged from the rosters of other TV shows because bringing in a movie star would, I think, mostly overwhelm the rest of the show. (Of course, that's what they did with Kiefer, and look how that's turned out...)

• Christopher Meloni, from "Law & Order: SVU"
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar, from "Saved by the Bell" and "NYPD Blue"
• Mekhi Phifer, from "ER"

Of course, there's nothing stopping you from nominating a female actor for the show, either. After much thought my own picks would be Michelle Forbes (who ironically had a guest starring role on "24" during the second season) and Angela Bassett (based on what I've tangentially seen of her on "ER").

But then again, "24" is a big show, so bringing in a big (movie) star might be the way to go after all. I'm not sure I could pick one, though... I keep thinking Keanu Reeves (basically the role he played in "Speed") would be a good pick...

CSI:Miami is a pretty ridiculous TV show, and one of the things that makes it so is the opening one-liner. Often I will watch just long enough for this before leaving. They're really cheesy and ballsy—Law & Order usually has the one-liner, but CSI:M really outdoes it. I blame David Caruso.

For a while now I've wished that someone would compile just the one-liners—I'd watch an hour of those—and it seems someone has. Without further ado, I present... the Endless Caruso One Liners:

Best thing I've seen this week.

Yeah, I'm aware that this is the first blog post I've made here this month, and it happens to be an American Idol post. I suck, now let's move on.

Basically, after watching all this season and tonight's finale, my pick for the winner is David Cook. I thought both finalists did really well, but my criteria is this: I pick the one who I would actually listen to on the radio. David Archuleta has got an amazing voice, and can really sing, there's no doubt—but he sings real yawners, stuff that I just wouldn't listen to. I get bored most of the time when he sings.

Plus, David Cook is a lot more dynamic on stage, and actually seems like the exact kind of personality-slash-performer the whole competition is staged to discover.

So Cook should be the winner. Of course, the judges all disagree and voted for Archuleta, and they're usually right.

In that case, it'll be another Daughtry phenomenon... Archuleta will win, but he'll fade into obscurity almost immediately while Cook will go on to have a successful career. You'll hear him on the radio within the year.

This is one of those TV posts that I hate to do because I feel like I become a parody of a cliché of myself, but I need to scratch the itch so I'll just keep the commentary down to short one- or two-line comments rather than long-winded diatribes. And no, I'm not going to talk about "Lost."

"American Idol" — they really, really need to get rid of both Paula Abdul and Ryan Seacrest (or, as I like to call him, "America's Douchebag").

"The Office" — the funniest show on TV. Last week's first new post-writer's-strike episode: funny and uncomfortable!

"Scrubs" — the other funniest show on TV.

"CSI: Miami" — I don't watch it.

"I Survived" — the few bits of this I've seen? Damn, the most depressing show ever.

"ER" — I don't watch it.

"Law & Order" — I like the new cast members this season; didn't realize 'til later that Linus Roache also played Thomas Wayne in "Batman Begins." Nice.

"24" — what? There's a show called "24"? Oh, maybe next year.

Tonight's lauded season finale of "Lost"? Yeah, there was 10, maybe 15 minutes out of the entire two hours that was any good. And those 10 or 15 minutes had to do with one thing and one thing only: revenge upon the Others.

You want a rant? I got your rant right here...

Spoilers ahoy.

Don't let the title completely fool you, this entry is a rant, as much as anything else. And don't think that I'm some sort of pop culture otaku; I'm usually behind the curve when it comes to such things, especially music.

But I seem to consume a fair amount of it anyway, and so here we are.

What do I really have to say about pop culture? Read on...

Based on what I've been writing (ranting) about "Lost" recently, I was contacted via email by a woman doing a feature story about the subject who wanted to interview me (also via email).

The twist? It's a Brazilian television Lost fan site entirely in Portuguese.

Globalization, ya gotta love it. It's cool seeing my name and site in print, even if I don't know what the article is saying. It's here: "LOST" JÁ ERA? TEMPORADA DESANIMA FÃS E PERDE AUDIÊNCIA NOS EUA.

Guess it's time to fire up the Google translator...

I'm starting to think I'm becoming a parody of myself with these "Lost" posts. I'm also thinking about coining a new phrase: "to pull a Lost." It should be self-evident what I mean by that, but: to start out strong, have everything going your way... and then blow it. Which seems to be what they're doing.

Actually, last night's episode was better than it has been this season... mostly. I'll get into that below after the obligatory spoiler warning...

Here there be spoilers!

I love this video mashup of Lost and The A-Team. I might even like it better than the actual third season of "Lost" so far!

No, this won't be quite the rant I did last week, just thoughts since watching tonight's episode of "Lost." In particular I thought tonight's Eko-centric episode was far better than last week's, but most of this is just braindump. Maybe some ranting. And oh yeah, huge spoilers.

Huge spoilers ahead, don't say I didn't warn you...

Okay, I've managed to hold out for the first four episodes of "Lost" this season, but after tonight I couldn't resist it any longer. It's a rant. It's gonna be spoilerish, and long-winded, usual disclaimers apply, etc. etc. Only click through if you're ready.

Read on... spoilers ahead.

Deadwood is back (as of last Sunday)! I loves me my Deadwood!

I just had to point that out. That, and say, it's about time somebody beat Farnum to a bloody pulp...

Haven't seen a book on Lost in awhile, but they managed to slip one into the season finale tonight: Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens. Not that it was hard to spot; Desmond only waved it around enough in a bunch of critical scenes.

As far as the season finale itself goes... I'm still trying to decide what I think about it. I think it started out strong enough. But I'm trying to decide if the last 15 or 20 minutes were weak. Definitely ambiguous, and a general "huh?" factor. And, I'm thinking, weak. I'll have to let it sink in some more.

Since it's 24 night, I thought I'd share this quote I thought was hilarious (emphasis mine):

As an actor, you want to be loved or liked, and when the guy you're playing suddenly turns evil, you feel marginalized. It sounds silly to verbalize, but you start thinking, 'What happens if Jack Bauer, America's avenging angel, doesn't like me anymore?'

Man, that just about sums up the entire show.

Okay, just a little while ago I saw the creepiest, randomest commercial for Skittles ever... I won't even pretend to try to understand it...

Anyone else seen it? Basically, a guy with a weird, long (like, three-feet-plus long) beard is at a job interview, and the beard is moving like an elephant's trunk, feeding the guy skittles from the desk. The woman conducting the interview is trying to turn him down, and—

Yeah, freakshow—

—and the beard feeds the woman a Skittle and strokes the side of her face, while he just chuckles in a creepy way.

And that's it.

I can pretty much guarantee I'll never buy another pack of Skittles again.

...You didn't think I wouldn't give you a link, did you? Here's the video on YouTube.

It's like my regular Lost Book Watch feature or something. Anyway, right there on the screen in your face, Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. I don't know that it has anything to do with the overall theme or plot of the show; since Sawyer was reading it, I rather suspect the producers are just having fun with us.

"Us" being those people like myself who have nothing better to do than blog about the books that show up on Lost...

If you enjoyed the Chuck Norris Facts site, and like the TV show 24, well then, this is the perfect mashup for you: Random Jack Bauer Facts. Same exact premise (some are even lifted from the Chuck Norris Facts!), and some are really funny:

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Funny mashup goodness! Now, I need to set about creating a similar ripoff mashup site with some other larger-than-life character...

Just had to point it out (even my wife noticed it): this week's book on Lost was The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

It's going on the list...

Okay, I'm spending too much time on this, but... after reading the comments on my post last night and thinking about it more, here's how I think they should have ended the episode:

Sayid, while interrogating/torturing the Guy Who May or May Not be an Other, finds out something equally ambiguous and creepy from him—something that makes Sayid pause, sit back, uncertain of what to do next. Meanwhile, Jack and Locke are in the middle of their confrontation, just as it played out before, and while Locke is in his haste trying to enter the number, the timer reaches zero... and cut to black.

That's right, a cliffhanger ending. I'd be fine with that, I think it would much better than the cop-out hieroglyphics. It would have been a stronger ending. Keep all of Sayid's flashback, that's fine, just end on zero and forget the goofy speech with Charlie on the beach.

They totally need to hire me as a writer. :)

Yeah, this is getting somewhat regular: recording some thoughts about the latest episode of Lost. I suppose some of these might be spoiler-y, though, so I'll put it behind the clickthru. (RSS readers: well, uh, you don't get that luxury, so watch out: there might be spoilers.)

More...

This was an amusing read, and devilishly detailed: The Lost Ultimate Theory. I won't guess as to the accuracy of it—quite a bit seems too science fantasy for my taste—but I will say that if the producers are ever looking for new writers for the show, they should contact this guy.

I've been informally keeping track of the books that appear on Lost, so of course I caught tonight's little Easter egg. Anyone else catch the title of the book Locke was shaking through when Sawyer found him in the hatch? The text on the cover read "Owl Creek Bridge", and a quick sweep on Wikipedia reveals:

"An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" is a short story by Ambrose Bierce originally written in 1886.... [It] is the story of a man who is sentenced to death by hanging at the Owl Creek Bridge of the title.

You can go to the page to read the spoilers about it, I won't reveal them here. What's interesting is, I remember seeing this on an old episode of The Twilight Zone!

I don't know if it's supposed to fit into the show's mythology, or the writers just liked the book enough to put it in there and mess with people's heads. I suppose that could go either way...

I had to link to this video just because it's so cool. ("Cool" in a geeky way.) Not because of the dancing part, but just the transforming effects are so good that if I didn't know better, I'd swear it was for real. If ever there's a live action Transformers movie, I'd hope it's this good.

Via Gadgetopia.

So these days the one show during the week I have to watch is Lost. Any other show I could miss and catch in reruns and it's no big deal. What can I say—I'm hooked. I'm along for the ride, and despite my best intentions to simply sit back and enjoy the story as it unfolds, I find myself getting caught up in rampant speculation about—well, everything. So, it's spilling over into a long blog post that will contain spoilers and that has no central thesis, just random musings and speculation about the show.

More...

Now that the TV season is mostly over I thought I'd post one of my self-indulgent rants on the various television shows I watched and how I'm still a slave to the tube. So, even though everything is over and everyone who was going to watch has watched, there will be spoilers. Click through to read on.

More...

So one of the shows we watch on Food Network is $40 a Day, where Rachael Ray has a budget of "only" 40 dollars and traipses around the city du jour looking for the meal deals. The tourist-y part of the show is interesting, but the fake-suspense-building (will she go over her budget? Will she??) annoys the hell out of me.

So far I know of three Oregon towns they've filmed episodes in: Portland, Salem and Ashland. I think they should do an episode right here in Bend.

The question is, then, where could you go to get three meals and an afternoon snack or drink with a 40 dollar budget, and still capture the essence of Bend? Without consulting the budget (so I may be off), my own choices would be:

• Breakfast: either the Original Pantry or the Victorian Cafe.
• Lunch: hmmm. Pilot Butte Drive-In.
• Afternoon whatever: another hmmm. Perhaps a brewery tour at the Deschutes Brewery?
• Dinner: The Pine Tavern.

Other suggestions?

This is classic: Sesame Street: 25 Of My Favorite Memories. I kept reading it and nodding. And you've gotta give props to someone for coming up with possibly the funniest line I've read in a long time:

Oh yeah, & if there's one thing I hate more than those stickers of Calvin peeing on something, it's the jokes about Bert & Ernie being gay, or Bert being evil, or whatever. Next time you mention it, I'm going to unearth a skyscraper with my bare hands, wear it like a brass knuckle, & punch you in the face.

Yeah, I'm funny that way.

Via Boing Boing.

Yep, there's going to be a Dukes of Hazzard movie this year, it even has its own IMDB entry already. I'd heard of this awhile back, rumors of it anyway, and it sure seems especially apropos with my Boss Hogg entry a week or so back. Get a load of the cast:

• Seann William Scott (Stiffler) as Bo Duke.
• Johnny Knoxville (Jackass) as Luke Duke.
• Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke.
• Willie Nelson (will he also sing the theme song?) as Uncle Jesse.
• Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg.

A movie based on the Dukes is either going to be the best movie of the summer (in a tongue-in-cheek way) or the worst movie of the summer... I have a feeling there'll be no in-between.

It's set to open June 24. You know you'll be there.

Random fun fact for the day: Sorrell Booke, the actor who played Boss Hogg in the Dukes of Hazzard television show, was fluent in five(!) languages and served in the Korean War as a counterintelligence officer. Who would've guessed? All I could dig up for what languages he was fluent in were English (obviously) and Japanese; I'm curious as to what the others are.

Sources: IMDB, Wikipedia.

I'm really digging Food Network's new Iron Chef America series. It's just a lot of fun to watch, and at a more accessible time than the original Iron Chef (9pm versus 11pm).

So, re-watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with the kids this last week, made me realize just how long it had been since I'd last seen this special: not long enough.

It's been 40 years since it came out, and this might be blasphemy to say, but it really hasn't aged well. The animation is terrible! And what a weird-ass story.

And disturbing. The Island of Misfit Toys was weird enough, but get a load of the talking gun. Or the way Yukon Cornelius licks his pick-axe to check for gold. Or Santa—I get the feeling this version of Santa Claus would have no problem dining on venison.

But the worst of all is how they deal with the Abominable Snow Monster. What I thought I remembered was that he was only mean because he had a bad tooth, and Hermie the Dental Elf fixed it for him. No! No, what really happens is Hermie pulls every one of his teeth out with pliers and then they all try to kill the newly-defanged Snow Monster. Holy shit!

I think I preferred my nostalgic version. At least it was messed up in a good way.

So Ken Jennings finally gave up the ghost on Jeopardy today. Actually, to those of us who already knew about the rumors flying around the net and even listened to yesterday's spoiler audio clip from the show, it's no surprise. Of course, everybody will be—is!—speculating on whether he threw the game on purpose (out of boredom) or genuinely lost.

My own thoughts at first were in the threw-the-game camp, but after seeing the show I'm on the fence. It seemed like an obvious Final Jeopardy question to miss, so maybe his loss was a little bit of both factors? Only Ken Jennings knows for sure.

Is it just me, or is that Wikipedia page on Jennings that I linked to above totally insane in the amount of detail it has? Good lord, people need to get a life.

Myself included.

One last note, though. I should be on Jeopardy. I would totally kick ass. Especially against the kids!

Just watching the new show "Hawaii" this evening (taped since I was out last night), and I was just thinking how cool it would be if the show did a crossover with "Magnum, P.I."

There's a couple of memes you probably never thought I'd hit you with.

I plucked this item out of the ORBlogs ORpost RSS feed last night (originally via Acid-Cookie), and forgot to blog about it: Zach Braff, from Scrubs, has a blog.

Pretty cool, but what's off the hook is that the blog's only been active for about 2 months, but he's already getting over 1000 comments per entry. Whoa.

My favorite show on Food Network is Good Eats—it's entertaining, informative, and quirky, all due to its host/creator, Alton Brown. So after reading the story on Alton Brown in this month's Wired, I figured it was high time to blog some links.

So, in addition to his site, which I linked to above, it's interesting to note that he has a blog.

Too cool: The Map of Springfield. You know, Springfield from The Simpsons. Amazing amount of effort going into this.

Via Slashdot.

Notable: Tonight's episode of Law & Order: SVU marks the first time I've heard the term "blog" used on a TV show. Not just used, it was central to the plot.

Maybe it's just me, but I think this season of "24" is really weak, especially after last season. I thought this at the beginning of the season, and after Sunday night's episode (and tonight's follow-up), this weakness was just reiterated for me in spades.

It just really smacks of bad writing, bad plotting. Jack Bauer had to kill his boss? WTF? Sloppy, poorly thought out, poorly executed (no pun intended). If it's simply for shock value, as my wife suggested, then I think it's really bad writing.

But then again, it's hard to follow up last season: they offered up Ass-Kicking Jack, Sacrifice-Himself-to-Save-the-World Jack, and Return-from-the-Dead Jack. This season? Junkie Jack, Desperately-Undercover Jack, and Cold-Blooded-Murder Jack.

It's almost as lame as me writing about how lame it is.

Eric Rescorla speculates about casting for an A-Team movie (should someone in Hollywood ever get the urge to make one). Nice. But my first thought was, why not let the original actors play the roles? (They'd have to find somebody to take over Hannibal, of course.) Sure, it could be done, but that isn't really how Hollywood works, sadly. It would have to fit the pattern of movies based on old TV shows: tweak the concept to bring it up to date, and cast current movie actors in the roles.

So, if an A-Team movie couldn't be made with the original cast (I mean, could anyone other than Mr. T play B.A. Baracus? Really?), here's my take on the Hollywood-ified concept and cast:

Plot: Four Desert Storm vets, framed for a crime they didn't commit, help the innocent while on the run from the military. (Timing fits perfectly; in the mid-80s, they were Vietnam vets.) Of course, the opening voice-over (remaining true to the TV show, up to the point) goes:

In 1992 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the [current hot/popular city] underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Think along the lines of the aftermath of "Three Kings," maybe.

And the cast, my take:

And of course, all the usual elements have to be there: the van, breaking Murdock out of the mental hospital, B.A. has to be tricked into flying ("Hey B.A., drink this glass of milk"), they have to be locked up in a tool shed or a machine shop or something so they can build some sort of weapon/vehicle/means of escape, and finally, of course, Hannibal has to be "on the jazz."

:)

Only two episodes in and I'm already liking HBO's new series, "Deadwood," quite a lot. It's quite a bit different from any other Western series I've seen on TV; they're certainly pulling no punches.

Here's a funny link for tonight: the Random Law and Order Plot Generator. Enjoy!