Sunbeams illuminating a coastal forest in Port Orford, Oregon

Chuggnutt!

Category: Humor

  • Exploding Whale Memorial Park

    This weekend I discovered that Florence, Oregon has a park dedicated to the infamous exploding whale incident, which took place in 1970:

    Sign at the entrance of the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon

    If you’re not familiar with the story, the Oregon Encyclopedia has an article on the Florence Whale Explosion you can read up on:

    On November 9, 1970, a forty-five-foot, eight-ton sperm whale washed ashore near Florence on Oregon’s south coast. In addition to the stench and the possibility that the body would burst, local officials were concerned that people curious about the carcass might climb on it and fall in. The agency responsible for Oregon beaches, the Oregon State Highway Division (now the Oregon Department of Transportation), was called in to remove the whale. After consulting with U.S. Navy and munitions experts, Assistant District Highway Engineer George Thornton decided to treat the carcass as a boulder and to use dynamite to dislodge it.

    Hijinks ensued. The Wikipedia article “Exploding whale” offers up some additional details, including this fun bit:

    A military veteran with explosives training who happened to be in the area warned that the planned twenty cases of dynamite was far too much, and that 20 sticks (8.4 lb or 3.8 kg) would have sufficed, but his advice went unheeded.

    Anyway, it’s a lovely little park that provides access to the Siuslaw River just off of Florence’s Historic Old Town, with a small covered picnic area and benches interspersed throughout. But to my disappointment it’s not where the whale explosion actually occurred, nor is there any sort of commemorative plaque or information about the whale to be found in the namesake park.

    Good views of the river, though!

    View of the Suislaw River Bridge and Suislaw River from the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon
    View of the Suislaw River and sand dunes from the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon
    Bench sculpture/art at the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon
    Forest for the trees, in the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon
    View of the Suislaw River from the Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, Oregon

  • Does North Dakota even exist?

    This started as a humorous conversation with coworkers; I don’t remember exactly how it came up, but one coworker talked about a family trip to visit all the states but somehow missed North Dakota. This of course prompted doubts as to its actual existence.

    The rest of us confirmed that we, also, have never been to North Dakota, and to further cast doubts, nobody knows anyone from there either.

    But then I googled “does North Dakota exist” and it got, well, weird.

    Who, what, why: Is North Dakota really a US state? (From 2011):

    North Dakota is amending its constitution because of a long-standing technical omission that some claim makes its statehood invalid. So does that mean it’s really just a US territory and not a state at all?

    Every American child is taught there are 50 states in the US.

    But an 82-year-old care home resident in Grand Forks, North Dakota, is throwing the truth of that universally held statement into some doubt.

    While reading the state constitution, which is 40 years older than he is, John Rolczynski noticed it omitted to mention the executive branch when explaining which new officers need to take the oath supporting the US Constitution.

    This, he says, makes the state constitution invalid because it is in conflict with the federal constitution, which requires all officers of the three branches of state government – executive, judicial and legislative – be bound by the oath.

    Mr Rolczynski’s detective work began in 1995. Sixteen years later, state senator Tim Mathern of Fargo has successfully introduced a bill to amend section 4 of article XI of the state constitution.

    The amendment has been passed by the state legislature and must now be approved by the people of North Dakota at the general election in 2012.

    So North Dakota was arguably not legally a state until ten years ago. Who knew?

  • The Fox

    What does he say?

    What does he say?

  • For your weekend viewing pleasure

    I can’t believe I’ve never posted this, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time:

    Get your mind out of the gutter. The only word being bleeped is “count.”

  • Items of recent awesomeness

    Some of these links aren’t as shiny-new as they were when I started this post, but even so:

    The CDC’s zombie apocalypse preparedness plan: Yes, the CDC is all over the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. For real.

    If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

    Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn move trailer: I knew Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson were making a Tintin movie, but I didn’t realize just how OMGAWESOME it was going to be until I saw the trailer:

    The Javascript PC emulator: pure amazing geekery. This is an x86 processor being emulated in Javascript inside a browser. And it’s running Linux. To be clear: what is essentially a full computer is running independently inside the browser. Which theoretically means you could run, well, anything inside of it.

  • CSI:Miami one-liners

    CSI:Miami is a pretty ridiculous TV show, and one of the things that makes it so is the opening one-liner. Often I will watch just long enough for this before leaving. They’re really cheesy and ballsy—Law & Order usually has the one-liner, but CSI:M really outdoes it. I blame David Caruso.

    For a while now I’ve wished that someone would compile just the one-liners—I’d watch an hour of those—and it seems someone has. Without further ado, I present… the Endless Caruso One Liners:

    Best thing I’ve seen this week.

  • Weird things that I’ve seen lately

    Snickers Charged: with caffeine, taurine, and “other B vitamins”—essentially the same stuff they put into energy drinks like Red Bull.

    Really? Was Snickers not… I don’t know… “loaded” enough? Next thing you know, they’ll be putting guarana and ginseng and who knows what else into them.

    No, I haven’t tried one. There’s a review here, if you’re interested.

    FAIL Blog: This is not so much “weird” as “spastically funny.”

    The horse: I forgot about this til just now. A woman was riding a white horse across the lawn of the Barnes & Noble at 27th and Highway 20 (here in Bend). This was a week or two ago. Right across the lawn and up to the crosswalk at the intersection… waiting to cross, I guess.

    Yeah, one of those things I have a cameraphone for, but I was driving, so I didn’t get the picture.

  • Here’s something I bet you didn’t know about Ashland…

    I’m referring to Ashland, Oregon, naturally, and something I found out from this article (via Jack Bog) (emphasis mine):

    Ashland city ordinances allow nudity anywhere in town, but genitalia must be covered in city parks and the downtown commercial district.

    I was pretty surprised when I read that; I don’t remember a single naked person while in Ashland last year. But overall—that’s pretty crazy; I had no idea it was that liberal of a town.

    You can bet I’ll be reading the Bend city code pretty closely the next few days to see what our local ordinances say about the subject.

    (The article overall is about a fruitcake “activist” who likes to wander around around (nearly) nude, and the city of Ashland’s refusal to allow her to be in their Fourth of July parade. She’s claiming “discrimination” against her by the Ashland Chamber of Commerce, claims she’s “not trying to get attention” (riiiiiiiiight), and for good measure even throws in a hint of creepy pedophilia in there. Seriously, she sounds mental. I’d deny her, too.)

  • Justice Heroes!

    Continuing in my series of totally random toy posts… presenting the JUSTICE HEROES LEAGUE!!!

    Justice Heroes League!!!

    Flea markets and foreign knock-offs of American pop culture are the best. (Via.)

  • Unintentional Star Wars toys

    My brother sent me the link to this today: The 10 Star Wars Toys that Unintentionally Look Like Other Celebrities. Everyone must see this.

    And I don’t care what anybody says, this is the best one:

    Johnny Cash... Dengar?